It has been almost six months since I made my first appointment with a therapist. It was terrifying. The stigma around it made me nervous about the whole thing. Months after, I can proudly tell you that it was one of the best decisions I made in my life. I am opening up about it now because I have the courage and the certainty to tell people that therapy can change their life. If our teeth hurt, we won’t hesitate to see a dentist. Why is it a shame to care for the most vital organ of our body, the mind?

“The principal aim of psychotherapy is not to transport one to an impossible state of happiness, but to help the client acquire steadfastness and patience in the face of suffering”- Carl Jung.

Sadness, depression, anxiety, etc., are all emotions that can only be measured subjectively. So, I don’t see the point of explaining the intensity of these feelings I was experiencing. All I can tell you is that I felt completely lost, and talking to a therapist was the only option left for me. It was one of the lowest moments in my life.

Before I began searching for a therapist, I prayed. I always believed that God works miracles through people, and I prayed that he directs me to a person who can help me figure out the pieces I feel like I am missing in my life. Well, looking back now, God has listened to my prayer. I got the help and guidance I needed. Each session opened my eyes to new possibilities of life. I discovered that my problems were deeply rooted and required more profound observations. I came with one issue, and my therapist opened Pandora’s Box. I am glad that happened.

I can tell you a million reasons why professional help can help you change your life. However, for now, I will share with you these most profound lessons through my six months of experience with a therapist.

1-   It allowed me to be Honest, Completely Honest- I used to be a person who hides her emotions and feelings. I always tried to appear calm even when there was turmoil inside me. I don’t want disappointing others, so my honesty was compromised to get along with others. However, through time these hidden emotions would turn into an excuse and then into blame. My work with my therapist allowed me to express my feelings without worrying about being judged. I found the courage to say I HATE this; I am ANGRY about this; I BLAME this person, I REGRET doing this, etc., for the first time. This was the first door towards freedom.

2-    It showed me the patterns in my life– The most frustrating thing that led me to see a therapist was the similar mistakes I keep making in my life. Through a couple of sessions, I discovered that all my decisions came from the Core beliefs I had about myself. Oh My God, this was the most liberating idea. What I have been doing is that I was responding to the negative core beliefs I had about myself and manifesting realities that validate my negative thoughts. My therapist suggested a book about core beliefs, and everything shifted for me in that aspect.

3- It gave me a new perspective on how I see my problems– When you are under stress or depression, you can’t see things clearly. What worries us most is not the actual problem we face but the way we see the problem. A professional therapist who has no emotional tie will have a clearer view of your problems and can help you get to the solution much quicker.

4-   It helps me in reconnecting with my inner child – Once we grow up and mess up in life, we feel like we lost the innocence and purity we had when we were kids. We feel like we do not deserve the happiness, joy, satisfaction, and beauty of an innocent kid since we are old. But, one thing I learned with the help of my therapist is that we never lose our innocence and purity because our soul never changes. Only the body does. This is the foundation for self-love and self-forgiveness.

5- It helps me see the beauty of imperfection- One thing I believe scares most people from seeing a therapist is that they think those who see a therapist are people with defects that need fixing. NO, that is an absolutely wrong assumption. We don’t get fixed by a therapist. Instead, we get the wisdom to accept who we are now and develop the mindset to work on areas that need improvement positively. I was blessed to meet a very compassionate therapist. Through his help, I, for the first time, accepted my imperfection. I now don’t consider myself as a non-ending self-development project. I view myself as a piece of art that needs some brushstrokes to add beauty to it. 

6-   It gave me Power- Nothing is powerful than knowing that you have a choice. It is easy to blame others and our circumstances than to take responsibility for our life. Therapy is a great tool that will make you see clearly what your role in your life is. It helped me get myself out of the victim’s car and made me the driver of my destiny.

7- It makes you connect with everyone- Do you know that whatever mistake you have made in your life is the same mistake done by others? Don’t torture yourself. As Maya Angelo said, “we are human and nothing human is alien to us.” My therapy sessions opened my eyes and made me see that we all are the same and making mistakes is an inevitable part of being human. All we have to do is acknowledge what we did and be responsible for correcting it. 

8-   It is humbling- I was a person who lives in her mind. I observe, process, manipulate and execute ideas in my head. I felt misunderstood for a long time. I thought I was being misunderstood because I was different. Well, that wasn’t true. My feeling of being misunderstood came from my inability to connect and be authentic with others. So, I had to stop blaming others for not understanding me and have to learn to express my feelings and thoughts more authentically. 

I can keep on telling you the benefit of seeing a professional therapist, but I don’t have the time or the space for it. From the bottom of my heart, I can say that when you truly need a change, make sure your reach out to someone reliable who can help you go through the process. In my case, I preferred a therapist because I wanted someone with whom I can be 100 % honest. Honesty is a costly thing to do, so make sure you value its price and give it away cautiously. Your secrets are not yours once they came out of your mouth. I regret telling few people how I felt back then. However, I consider it as a lesson learned. I now value my honesty and will not give it to people who do not deserve it. I am not saying I will lie, but I am very reserved in telling people about how I feel deep inside. Because when you are too honest and open to people who are undeserving of it, your honesty will come back and bite you.

I want to conclude by saying that finding the right therapist is like finding a faithful lover. They listen but not judge you, give you advice but not criticize you, tell you the truth but care for your feelings; they walk with you but allow you to walk alone; they push you but give you the space to defend yourself.

Take care of your mind, make sure it gets the attention it deserves, the care it needs, and the treatment it requires.