“In some ways, suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning, such as a meaning of sacrifice”- Victor Frankl.

Yes, it is painful! When things don’t go the way we planned them to go, it hurts. Its heaviness somehow feels like someone is physically standing on our chest. I am not exaggerating; it can be that suffocating. I am going through that feeling to some extent now. We can’t always pinpoint the exact reason why we feel this way. I believe there are always triggering factors that lead us to the edge. However, we have to be wise enough to see past the situations that trigger us to heal from the pain. Here are five ways to give meaning to the suffering and pain we are going through.

Maybe it is time to face your core beliefs- Most of our actions and decisions are directed by our core beliefs. Core beliefs are our hidden assumptions of who we are and how we see ourselves. It is not a fun thing to face those beliefs. Most of us don’t even know we carry these negative beliefs about ourselves. However, there will come situations and circumstances that will activate these beliefs. That is when we find ourselves overwhelmed with negativity. So if you are in a state of mind that feels unpleasant, forget about the immediate circumstance that triggered you, dive in deeper, try to be honest, and find out what you truly believe about yourself. If that belief doesn’t align with what you want to manifest, challenge it and change it.

Maybe it is time to claim what you deserve- Psychologist Nathaniel Brandon says, “suffering is just about the easiest of all human activities; being happy is just about the hardest. And happiness requires, not surrender to guilt, but emancipation from guilt”. I agree for some of us; the pain feels comforting because we are so used to it. Fear of happiness, success, and love is real. If we suffer from low self-esteem, we tend to believe that we don’t really deserve to be happy, successful, and loved. I know how it feels. What we need to do is to be honest, and ask ourselves, “Does it feel natural for me to be happy, successful, and loved?” if you feel hesitant answering this. It is time to work on those limiting beliefs.

Maybe it is time to let go – I know most of us have heard the “monkey trap’ story. In some places, people catch a monkey by putting peanuts in a jar. The monkey comes along and grabs the peanuts from the jar.  The trick is the jar’s opening is small, so once the monkey’s hand becomes a fist, it can’t come out. Because the monkey struggles to let go of the peanut, he gets stuck and gets himself caught. Sounds familiar? It is hard to let go of life’s peanuts, but is it worth getting stuck and losing our freedom? Again, if you feel stuck in life, pay attention to the people, situations, and beliefs you are holding on to, and practice letting go.

Maybe it is time to grow- Any kind of growth is painful and uncomfortable. I remember the first time I drove a car on the highway. God, it was terrifying. Most things in life are like that. The first time we do them, they are scary, uncomfortable, and terrifying. However, the more we do them, the more they become second nature. It is the same process when we try to change the way we think. Even practicing positive thoughts can be terrifying because we are not used to them. I know we all want change, we all want to feel better, but we have to remind ourselves that everything is a process and takes time. Keep practicing a positive and fulfilling way of living and thinking till it becomes your second nature.

Maybe it is time to be honest, and open- Well, this is something I learned lately. If you tend to be an introvert like me, we keep our emotions and feelings to ourselves. We struggle to express what we want, need, and wish. It may be hard to see the effect of this until you get to a point in life where you want to be seen and heard. That is when we struggle to open up and be honest, and it feels uneasy. Being open and honest to yourself and others is the doorway to authenticity and self-worth. Most of us keep secrets and don’t open up, not because we don’t want to, but because we feel like what we have to say has no value. That is why I believe honesty and openness have a lot to do with self-worth. When we feel worthy, we feel like what we share is also worth sharing.

Maybe you are healing- At some point in life; we should stop thinking about who inflicted our wound. Because it doesn’t matter whether the would is self -inflicted or other people caused it. What matters is knowing that the healing is entirely our responsibility. One thing we have to realize is that sometimes healing can be more painful than the wound. I promise you that if you are feeling pain, know that you are healing some wounds. No pain will be wasted if we decide to.

This article aims to remind me and others that we can cease suffering and pain by giving meaning to it. There is always light at the end of the tunnel, and some tunnels may be longer but keep walking because it is the tunnel that is temporary, not the light. Use your pain as fuel to get the strength to walk through the tunnel.